Being a Sheng Nu (Leftover Woman)

I don't remember if I ever declare to the world that I was dumped a few years ago. So here's the basic info. After a little over 16 years of relationship, I was dumped by the X in late 2011. With that, I effectively became a Sheng Nu (leftover woman).

It is especially hard being a Sheng Nu (剩女） at this time of the year. People who are keen to judge are at the ready to have a bloody good chinwag regarding my predicament. Oh, they have every right to be concerned. I shouldn't let their interest bother me too much as they are just looking out for me. They hand me an angpow and before I get to put it away, the heated discussion on the need to find a man starts. Things will be easier after tomorrow - Valentine's Day - a day for people like me not to be seen in public. I did entertain the idea of wearing a t-shirt with the logos Sheng Nu in HanYuPinYin and in Chinese characters but no, I don't have the guts yet.

Being a Sheng Nu is painful especially at my age. If I am seen with females, some people are quick to say that I am a lesbian and if the females are young, they might even say that I am grooming young lesbians. If I am in the company of males, I am quickly deemed to be a slut even if the guys are too hot to want someone like me. And if I happen to walk alongside a married male, I could quickly be seen as a home wrecker. But if I hang out with older females, people quickly fear for my Mum because I am obviously too clueless to realize how bad it is to be an unmarried aunty （老姑婆）.

So, what should I do? Should I just lock myself in the bedroom? Should I look for work elsewhere? If I continue to isolate myself  from the rest of the world, my Mum fears that I might go mental. I really need to know if I am being a bad daughter if I return to Australia... For the sake of my happiness, my Mum hinted that I should go but she probably wasn't telling the truth... What should I do? It is hard living as a sheng nu. It is heartbreaking working as an unappreciated teacher. Is it too late to make a career change? Do you think that I have the time to train for another type of work? Is anyone going to answer me?

Two Weeks On

It was two weeks ago that I noticed that I didn't see Lady (the cat) around. Every time I go to a supermarket, I would buy at least a couple of packs of cat food for her and her girls. The packets are mounting up but she is nowhere to be seen. Her kittens, Ebony and Ivory are missing her. The helpers are convinced that she has gone to nurse her new kittens. They all believed that she was pregnant again.

I love Lady but I kept my distance. I never felt like I should bond with any animals locally. Their lives are too tricky to manage. As for now, little Ebony and Ivory are still living with us. I would like to take them to a vet but it is something we don't do. It is just not the done thing. All I can is to feed them and keep them relatively healthy and loved to an extent.

Lady could possibly be somewhere nursing a new set of kittens. I try not to think too much of other possibilities. Some locals are just cruel... They are physically smaller but they are so capable of cruel acts...

Why No Comments?

According to Blogger, there's a fair bit of traffic to this blog. I took a look at the map and saw visitors from Australia even. I was stoked. There's one question though? Why do people not leave any comments? I would like to know what people think of my writing. I do not only mean the quality but I would like to know my visitors' opinions on my thoughts. This however does not mean that I encourage trolls to begin attacking me online... So yeah, cheer me up a little people. Do leave me some comments...

Happy New Year

The year of the Monkey has arrived. Today is the first day. I didn't go to church because a cousin and his wife are currently staying with us. They are Buddhists. However, I have completed my duties of entertaining my first cousins from the C clan when they dropped by this afternoon and attended a lavish dinner organized by first cousins from the L clan. The L clan tends to invite us for lavish dinners over 4 nights for CNY but I have managed to convince my Mum to allow me to only attend one from now on. Tomorrow's dinner will be at Pan Pacific Sutera Harbour but I am not going. I have been excused. I breathe a sigh of relief. This type of entertaining is quite pricey. I hope that I could rake in enough so my Mum could do the same next year. As to whether if I would attend if I am paying, I don't think that I would if I could... Life is simpler without these complications. I miss the way we celebrated CNY in Melbourne and I miss being a Chinese from an Australian perspective.