Two goats popped up in our neighbourhood overnight. They were hanging around like a bad smell even though I didn't smell anything. They look healthy and their coats were shiny. It is a welcoming sight for me at least but it is not the same story for many other residents. My Aunt's workers chased the two poor goats out of our housing area this morning. They obviously love our area because they came back this afternoon. They gobbled up some guavas from our tree and that infuriated my Mum who chased them away and told them off in English! It was hilarious. What made my Mum do that? She was telling them, "Shoo! Go away. Don't eat my guavas." The guy who came around to sell bread was laughing his head off. The goats took off without headbutting this little English speaking lady. That's what I feared they might attempt to do. It will be my fault again if she had fallen over.
I too turn to speaking in English when talking to animals and newborn babies. It baffles me as to why I do it. I am aware that when I am rudely interrupted, I tend to turn to English automatically. I also turn to English when I feel self conscious. When I first came home, I used to respond in English and it used to take me a while before I realized that I shouldn't have done it. Nowadays I try to be more conscious and when speaking to locals, I try to stick to Hakka or Malay to fit in. My thinking or self talk is still pretty much in English.
Thursday, 31 October 2013
Friday, 25 October 2013
A Week of Firsts
I recently thought that I should get out of my comfort zone more often and so I did. I achieved four firsts this week. What seemed to be pretty mundane stuff to most people is a big challenge for someone like me.
On Sunday the 20th, I attended the wedding of a Kadazan and a Nyonya at Ming Garden. The groom is the son of a colleague. I accepted the invitation as a challenge for myself. Since I came home from Australia, I had been invited to numerous weddings but so far, other than this wedding on the 20th, I had only attended another low key one held at the home of another teacher. I didn't think that I will enjoy any weddings ever again but I enjoyed myself on Sunday evening. Teacher O picked me up because my Mum was interstate. It was a unique Kadazan experience for me. People were doing the Sumazau dance multiple times during the evening. I love the Murut dance performance. Although I got out of my comfort zone by attending, I was quick to superglue myself to my seat when friends tried to get me to join them in the Sumazau. Nah, I am just not ready yet.
It was also at the wedding that I gave away my first Ang Pow or red packet. Although I am unmarried, I chose to do so because most people would give a couple a red packet at a wedding. The bride is a Nyonya and so I thought that the couple wouldn't mind an Ang Pow or two. It is not uncommon for unmarried people to give Ang Pows but this doesn't mean that I will start dishing them out come January 2014.
On Wednesday the 23rd, a weeknight, 3 colleagues and I went out for coffee at Starbucks. With just one single visit, I had managed to convert all 3 of them into Starbucks fans! LOL. Teacher T picked me up and she drove like a mad woman. I had to throw Papa Smurf at her and held on for dear life. Of the 4 of us, I was a secret. Others at work weren't meant to know that I had tagged along for fear of rocking my little boat. I picked that particular Starbucks because I had wanted to survey the joint before I take another step to get out of my comfort zone on a later date. It was a good night. Teacher T always make me laugh. Even though I still believe that Teacher T is a spy working for the headmistress, I really did enjoy the night. So much so that I didn't want to go home. The others are now so hooked that they are planning another night out with movie included soon.
Today the 25th, the Kindergarten had their Graduation Day for the big kids. I was selected as one of two emcees. We had been rehearsing so much of late that I was eager for everything to end ASAP. I never believed that they needed an English emcee and was putting in very little effort. Teacher O was the only person who praised me. When I asked my Mum about my performance, she said that I was standing there on stage like a pile of poop. Thanks Mum. I am kinda glad that it is now all over but I will miss getting away from my group of pesky kids. Next week, the little ones will sit for their end of year English exams and I might get a stroke when I mark their papers afterwards. A personal highlight for me as an emcee today was inviting a certain Datuk onto the stage. That was just about the only thing that I was looking forward to in this entire gig. I was keen for him to discover that I was that lowly dishpig that he was not very keen to get to know last year when he came to speak to my brother.
It has been an interesting week. Maybe what someone said about moving on is right. The X and I had separated for two years since September. I really ought to see it as a ticket to freedom. There are greater things out there for me. I really should enjoy everything available to me. May be if I take all opportunities coming my way, it will lead to something greater.
On Sunday the 20th, I attended the wedding of a Kadazan and a Nyonya at Ming Garden. The groom is the son of a colleague. I accepted the invitation as a challenge for myself. Since I came home from Australia, I had been invited to numerous weddings but so far, other than this wedding on the 20th, I had only attended another low key one held at the home of another teacher. I didn't think that I will enjoy any weddings ever again but I enjoyed myself on Sunday evening. Teacher O picked me up because my Mum was interstate. It was a unique Kadazan experience for me. People were doing the Sumazau dance multiple times during the evening. I love the Murut dance performance. Although I got out of my comfort zone by attending, I was quick to superglue myself to my seat when friends tried to get me to join them in the Sumazau. Nah, I am just not ready yet.
It was also at the wedding that I gave away my first Ang Pow or red packet. Although I am unmarried, I chose to do so because most people would give a couple a red packet at a wedding. The bride is a Nyonya and so I thought that the couple wouldn't mind an Ang Pow or two. It is not uncommon for unmarried people to give Ang Pows but this doesn't mean that I will start dishing them out come January 2014.
On Wednesday the 23rd, a weeknight, 3 colleagues and I went out for coffee at Starbucks. With just one single visit, I had managed to convert all 3 of them into Starbucks fans! LOL. Teacher T picked me up and she drove like a mad woman. I had to throw Papa Smurf at her and held on for dear life. Of the 4 of us, I was a secret. Others at work weren't meant to know that I had tagged along for fear of rocking my little boat. I picked that particular Starbucks because I had wanted to survey the joint before I take another step to get out of my comfort zone on a later date. It was a good night. Teacher T always make me laugh. Even though I still believe that Teacher T is a spy working for the headmistress, I really did enjoy the night. So much so that I didn't want to go home. The others are now so hooked that they are planning another night out with movie included soon.
Today the 25th, the Kindergarten had their Graduation Day for the big kids. I was selected as one of two emcees. We had been rehearsing so much of late that I was eager for everything to end ASAP. I never believed that they needed an English emcee and was putting in very little effort. Teacher O was the only person who praised me. When I asked my Mum about my performance, she said that I was standing there on stage like a pile of poop. Thanks Mum. I am kinda glad that it is now all over but I will miss getting away from my group of pesky kids. Next week, the little ones will sit for their end of year English exams and I might get a stroke when I mark their papers afterwards. A personal highlight for me as an emcee today was inviting a certain Datuk onto the stage. That was just about the only thing that I was looking forward to in this entire gig. I was keen for him to discover that I was that lowly dishpig that he was not very keen to get to know last year when he came to speak to my brother.
It has been an interesting week. Maybe what someone said about moving on is right. The X and I had separated for two years since September. I really ought to see it as a ticket to freedom. There are greater things out there for me. I really should enjoy everything available to me. May be if I take all opportunities coming my way, it will lead to something greater.
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Feeling Disconnected
At a time when I should be feeling nervous because I will be the English MC for the graduation ceremony in 6 days time, I am feeling disconnected instead. I feel like I so don't understand the people around me. At work, I had been playing the role of a goofball for about two months in an effort to get people to relax and not to 'fear' me because of who my Mum is. My 'childish' pranks had backfired somehow. People now think that I am a bit of an airhead and that my parents' investment in my education had all gone to waste. To some, they are now even more convinced that western education doesn't work.
I don't get it why they love seeing me as foreign. I don't get it why they focus on my crazy bits and to blame all that on western influence. I don't get it how it is any of their business whether if I contribute any portion of my pay to my Mum. And I definitely do not get it that I am at fault because my Mum fell over while plucking chillies.
Why can’t these people just relax? Why can’t they just take things less seriously? Why is every mistake or accident treated like it is the end of the world? Why is everyone so Goddamn scared of everything they have to do? Why apply so much pressure?
I think that I will lay low in this coming week. I will do my own things and prep the children for their English exams in the last week of October. Yeah, 4 year olds are sitting for their end of year English exams in 9 days! How very exciting? Those pesky little things had better ace the papers or the ‘foreigner’ would be deemed a failure in teaching English. As for my first MC gig on the 25th, I think that I should be OK. I don’t feel nervous at all.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)